Battleship

Let's be honest, Battleship was probably not Hasbro's finest decision. But while we're waiting for the Transformers series' rumoured reboot, I suppose something had to be done. Now it should hopefully go without saying, Battleships is not a board game that necessarily lends itself to a Hollywood movie treatment. Hopefully that's apparent to most of us, but in case anyone does need it, this film certainly proves the point. In what can only be described as 'loosely' based around the standard "D4, miss. G9, hit; you sunk my destroyer" coloured-pin game of the 60's (and the pen and paper version before that), Battleship uses an alien attack as the basis for a grid-based retaliation by the out-numbered and out-gunned human race. To be fair though, as contrived as it is, it takes a hell of a lot of balls (or just a horrendous writing team) to manage to crowbar something so ridiculous into a movie, so for that alone they do probably deserve some of our admiration. Elsewhere, Battleship does claw back a couple of stars, with the visual effects alone certainly worthy of a mention. That said, they do rather pale into insignificance after having to watch a succession of gut-wrenchingly abysmal dialogue, doubled with Rihanna doing her very best sailor's impression. Overall I guess, Battleship was not a film that was ever really planning to be lauded for its attention to detail or accuracy in continuity, so at least in a couple of respects, it won't disappoint.

Yeah, I think it's safe to say that you've sunk my aircraft carrier.

Berberian Sound Studio

Having read such a rave review about Berberian Sound Studio, I came to the movie with high hopes and a four star review already half penned. And while there is no doubt that in its 92 minutes there are some moments of outright genius, the rest becomes such an absolute mind fuck of a film that nothing less than 110% of your concentration is likely to elicit the kind of response that I just know it is capable of. Don't get me wrong, I still think this is a four star film, but it just requires such a specific mood to truly enjoy, which I simply wasn't in at the time. A horror story of sorts, Toby Jones is fantastic as the altogether too British sound engineer Gilderoy, thrust into unfamiliar surroundings with rather dark consequences. The film is an absolute masterclass in generating atmosphere through sound (rather apt given its subject matter), and including some unexpected local colour in the form of Dorking and Box Hill, and the added excitement of being able put some of my offensive Italian into practice, it does have enough in its favour to mean that it should at least be attempted. Just take my lead on this one; draw the curtains, turn the phone and laptop off and just stick with it.

You just might be looking at the very first radish ever to win an Oscar...

Blackfish

I never concerned myself with the typical boy passions when I was younger. Dinosaurs, sharks, guns and cars were all the territory of my younger brother when we were kids, leaving my time free for fluffier pleasures. My (more effeminate) interest of choice was the elegance and beauty of whales and dolphins, fuelled primarily by the excitement of the Free Willy trilogy, a couple of trips to Windsor Safari Park and even the holy grail of a day at SeaWorld in Florida. What a treat then that my first film of the 2013 Sundance London season should be Gabriela Cowperthwaite's 'Blackfish', a partly beautiful, partly chilling documentary examining the affairs of Tilikum the Killer Whale, the veritable daddy of about half of all Orcas currently kept in captivity, and the subject of a number of cases of aggression and indeed murder of his human trainers.

I knew very little of the subject going into the film. I have even been to SeaWorld myself and experienced the magical time that is enjoyed by the several million park guests that walk through their Orlando gates every year. I'll even admit to having completely escaped any mention of the latest court case brought against them in 2010 by the American Health and Safety organisation OSHA which forms a significant part of Cowperthwaite's story. What Blackfish does do though, is tell what could be a particularly linear and relatively quick story in a really quite persuasive and well paced way. Tension is one thing that is delivered in spades. As the brutal realism of the story becomes ever more chillingly apparent, the use of interviews with ex-trainers, home videos and park's own footage continually crank up the horror, making the final realisation (one which required both hands over my face - one for my gaping disbelieving mouth, and one to cover my eyes) altogether inescapable.

Open wide: while there's no denying how incredibly special these animals are, Blackfish does raise a few questions about how we should look after and appreciate their beauty

Whilst certainly not a truly impartial view, the story that Blackfish unfolds is both so unknown yet truly important that it should receive more eyes than those captive at Sundance London alone. Gabriela's own view in the Q&A afterwards perhaps told you everything you need to know; would she continue to go to SeaWorld? "Yes, but I'd go a little more aware of exactly what I was seeing".

Beasts of the Southern Wild

I'm probably going to offend a lot of people with this review, as so many (not least the good people at Sundance where it was initially aired) have been utterly transfixed by the beauty and talent on offer in the film. In fact, writing this review so long after the actual release is almost embarrassing, as I'm bound to be left with more than a little egg on my face given that it currently holds one of the spots in the Oscar Best Picture line up, and a raft of other nominations besides. But truthfully, while it may have done it for others, Beasts of the Southern Wild just didn't seem to resonate with me.

Truth be told, there is an enormous amount of beauty in the film. With the exception of the director's over-tendency to pull focus mid-scene (or just not focus on the action at all) there are an extraordinary number of visually arresting stills. Most of them are courtesy of the now infamous Quvenzhané Wallis, a previously unknown little girl without whom (the director quite rightly has asserted) the film couldn't have been made, and who has now entered the history books as the youngest person ever to hold a Best Actress nomination at the Oscars. No mean feat at the age of 9 (or perhaps more incredibly, 6 when the film was shot).



The legend of Top Gear's amphibious cars transfers to the big screen.

Whatever I may have thought of the film, Quvenzhané Wallis' talent is undeniable. Her performance is impeccable throughout, making the award nomination no great surprise. That said, I did have a personal struggle to find any of the characters particularly likable until near the end, but more a feature of the story than the acting itself. Elsewhere, the movie seems to crowbar in a wide variety of additional themes and metaphors, some of which feel more ill-fitting than others. The rampaging Aurochs, an ancient bull-type creature, freed by the melting ice caps (as a part of the slightly odd backdrop of climate change) do feel like a strange inclusion to a story about community and finding identity at a young age, but the ongoing heartbeat motif is perhaps the most draining. While obvious as to it's meaning, it did begin to feel rather rammed down your throat by the end, for no particular emotional benefit. The overall moral message fell foul of the same plight, and although a very worthy and touching notion (we're all a small part of one bigger whole) it did feel rather over-worked by the end.

The Brothers Grimm

I haven't exactly reviewed many films on this blog yet (don't worry, I'm working on it...), and yet somehow quite by chance, I seem to have stumbled upon two that both take very similar concepts in completely different directions. 'The Brothers Grimm' represents somewhat of an adult take on re-imagining fairytales (a job that Disney's 'Enchanted' would also do two years later). However, whilst 'Enchanted' was destined as a child friendly live-action update of Disney's animated back catalogue, 'The Brothers Grimm' would seem more focussed on delivering as many warped and sinister references to recognisable fairy stories as possible; distorted versions of Hansel & Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, Princess and the Pea, Sleeping Beauty etc... all providing subject matter strings to the writer's bow.

From a cast list point of view, 'The Brothers Grimm' has a lot going for it. Hollywood heavyweights Matt Damon and Heath Ledger play the title siblings with more of a 'fairytale conmen' raison d'etre than their 19th Century story-telling namesakes. Sadly, for me, that's pretty much where the excitement ended. If Hustle has taught us anything, it's that conmen (or at least fictional ones) can be likeable. Sadly, the same is not true here, and the two become less than endearing to watch as time goes by (helped even more by Heath Ledger's inexplicable accent that sounds like he's biting through a live slug and doesn't want to move his teeth). In fact, while on the subject of accents, I defy anyone to be able to correctly identify what on Earth is going on; between the Frenchmen speaking German, the Americans trying to be English and the variety of regional British pronunciation on offer, it's a little tricky to narrow down any kind of nationality, let alone a coherent location.

Don't worry love. I'm reliably informed that Autoglass can fix that, and you won't even have to pay your excess.

Aside from that relatively minor gripe, the rest of the film seems OK enough. A few slightly dodgy effects here, and a couple of baffling mistakes that look like the director just couldn't be bothered to reshoot the scenes there, and 'The Brothers Grimm' isn't a bad way to waste a couple of hours. It does fall a way short of where it could have been if executed properly, but there are enough underlying elements of dark comedic gold (thanks mostly to ex-Python Terry Gilliam in the director's chair) that make it worth watching. Once.

Bolt

So I know I'm probably not 'target market' for Bolt. But then the same can also be said for the majority of both Pixar and Dreamwork's back catalogue, and they haven't managed to stop me yet. Bolt however, strikes me as being different to all the others on those lists. The story is pretty standard enough - a canine cross between 'The Truman Show' and 'Finding Nemo', Bolt is a unwitting TV star who finds himself on the other side of America trying to find a way home. A neat concept, and indeed one which is delivered with the high levels of charm and artistry that can be expected of a Disney animation. However, as entertaining as the film is, Bolt is one of the first animated adventures where it's felt like there's a lot more for kids to enjoy, than for adults.

In hindsight, Bolt's plan to break into the Bellagio's vault was perhaps best left to a different movie franchise

Don't get me wrong, there is plenty to appreciate, regardless of age. Indeed, some of the most fun comes from the obese, and slightly delusional hamster companion Rhino, who's one liners are difficult not to appreciate; "Ring, ring! Who's there? Destiny? I've been expecting your call." and "I'm going to beat your pancreas with your spleen!" being two of my personal favourites. But regardless of that, the plot just doesn't feel as fresh as films of a similar ilk. The very fact that it's possible to draw a comparison between two existing films just proves that. The single benefit of animation is that you can do anything - the only limit is your imagination - and yet, for me, Bolt just doesn't seem to be able to live up to that mantra. Certainly enjoyable enough whilst it's on, it just doesn't seem to push enough of the boundaries to call it one of the greats.