Pacific Rim

Pacific Rim may well have been one of the easiest Hollywood elevator pitches ever delivered; "think giant robots fighting massive aliens. Who wouldn't watch that?!". And indeed, that's exactly what we've ended up with, all wrapped up in some pseudo-story about apocalypse and confronting your past and family ties and whatever other sci-fi buzzwords could be crammed in round the edges. Fortunately, there is a touch more craft involved in Pacific Rim than just making a movie out of the Power Rangers Megazord (in this case, the Jaegers) vs. Godzilla (Kaijus), and it all falls to Guillermo del Toro's expert hand.

As could have been expected with del Toro's involvement, the visuals are pretty lush. The special effects are relatively decent for the most part (a little lessened by tiny things, such as the ability of an umbrella to stay completely static even with an army helicopter landing directly in front of it), and complemented by some surprisingly compelling 3D, especially for a film relying on the post-prod addition of the extra depth after the director quite literally changed his mind.

Aren't those the robots from the Citroen Xsara Picasso production line?

Given the mecha versus monster storyline, Pacific Rim is absolutely stuffed full of exactly the kind of cliché you'd expect; impossible-to-win battles, heart wrenching sacrifice, miracle resurrections - they're all here. But sort of unashamedly so. There's no pretence, no illusion. After all, you're watching a film that has sold itself on nothing save the sheer size of it's battling protagonists, so it would be tricky to hide behind any kind of more sophisticated veneer. This is one big walking, talking, alien bashing cliché, but knows it inside and out, and is all the better for admitting it and playing to its strengths.

Cherno Alpha; the biggest lighthouse in the Pacific

While the film is undoubtedly slightly slow in places, it does rather successfully curtail any kind of action fatigue - each fight sequence still feels fresh and interesting despite the fact that it's almost identical to the previous one, which makes a nice change from similar titles. Unfortunately, sandwiched in-between the battles, Pacific Rim is not quite as witty as it thinks it is, with more than a few lines falling a lot flatter than they probably sounded when they were written (not least in a rather damp excuse for a post-credits sting). We're also forced to put up with a rather annoying female lead in the form of Rinko Kikuchi's Mako Mori, who seems to spend the whole of her screen time being rather pathetically subservient to Idris Elba's leader of the Jaeger programme, or mooning over Charlie Hunnam's leading man. Poorly written girl characters aside though, Pacific Rim has plenty else going for it. As long as you know what you're going to see (Shakespeare, this is not), there is more than enough charm in the way the film has been made to be able to get over the lack of depth in the content. In my eyes, there was plenty of half naked Charlie Hunnam to satisfy the gay in me, and enough apocalyptic action to keep the excitable 8 year old me happy too... Take it at it's superficial best, and you'll be fine.

Vital Statistics
Director	Guillermo del Toro
Cast	Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Rinko Kikuchi, Charlie Day, Robert Kazinsky, Max Martini, Ron Perlman
Length	131 mins
Post Credits Scene	Yes, but 15 seconds of a disappointing joke that totally misses the mark. Not worth sticking around for.
TFC Mash-Up	Transformers meets Cloverfield
Star Rating	

Pitch Perfect

Oh I do love film with a shambolic sense of Hollywood irony, and in this case, for a film that has a whole scene lambasting movies for having predictable endings, Pitch Perfect certainly flies in the face of its own advice. Despite the rather inevitable conclusion though, it does a relatively good job at keeping the entertainment level high for the necessary 112 minutes. Obviously, the film itself was always going to draw comparisons to Glee, which is wholly understandable given that Pitch Perfect's storyline effectively plays out as the whole first season in little over an hour and a half. Throw in some more hit than miss Dodgeball-esque humour and the sheer variety of well-written characters, (including plenty enough eye-candy regardless of sexuality) and actually what could very easily have been written off as a movie cash in of a popular TV genre quite capably stands on its own two feet.

I have no idea whose hand that is on the right hand side, but this scene was evidently a great deal more homoerotic than I remember it...

Pain & Gain

Well as flattering as an exclusive early preview screening is, sometimes the film just doesn't quite live up to the hype. Sadly, as compelling as this one could have been (Mark Wahlberg, body builders, Floridian beaches, pools etc...), and despite its Hollywood A list cast and production team (Michael Bay yelling action, Wahlberg, The Rock and Ed Harris providing the on-screen mayhem), Pain and Gain still somehow falls a long way short. In fairness, the storyline is horrendously ridiculous in the extreme; three bungling fitness fanatics trying to find a shortcut to the American dream by extorting, kidnapping and murdering their way to the top. It's all a bit of a slap in the face that it's a true story, so obviously the source 'material' does somewhat limit the direction the story can take.

I'll admit, there are plenty of lad interests 'ticked off' with this film. Bucket loads of violence, plenty of sportiness, a whole heap of ridiculous humour and a bountiful supply of T&A will no doubt keep the more Neanderthal of my gender at bay, but just cramming as much guy-fodder onto a couple of hours of 35mm film is never going to make for the most interesting of affairs. Indeed, while the first 45 of Pain and Gain is enjoyable enough, the rest does descend into an over-hammed try-hard of a movie, almost pretending to be something it's not.

Tony, I'm not sure swimming is a good idea for you...

With that in mind, it's perhaps no surprise that the piece itself feels a tad over-long (although at 129 minutes, that's probably justifiable) and despite the eventual pay-off being relatively good when it does finally come full circle, the extended storyline in getting to that point does rather take the sheen off it. Coupled with a succession of gratuitous needle shots which is one thing that I will always resent, Pain & Gain was always going to be on the back foot. That said, the black comedy that is well-woven into proceedings does provide some relatively funny moments, which do probably salvage it a star or two.

Project X

And here we go again; another inexplicable 'found footage' teen movie, which as always, adds absolutely no dramatic or narrative benefit to proceedings. As you can tell, my favourite genre. Indeed, Project X falls victim to the standard POV filming issue, whereby it just serves to raise more questions as to why certain events or locations were filmed, and the whole gimmick feels completely unnecessary. That said, what it does allow is for possibly the easiest Hollywood shoot ever - give 200 teenagers alcohol and a load of Flip cams and make a film out of the result. So at the very least, there are some brownie points for realism. In fact, in all fairness, there are also some mildly amusing moments, but as a whole, Project X is a little overrun with silliness to make it a genuinely good comedy. Of course, the 'party gets out-of-hand' plotline doesn't allow too much wiggle-room to escape from any kind of crushing predictability (perhaps why the cryptic placeholder film title actually stuck around post the production phase), but even with that, Project X was only ever going to appeal to two relatively small groups of people; those that are foolish enough to want that kind of party, and those that wish they were invited.

"I'll never let go Jack. I'll never let go."

Premium Rush

Well well well, who'd have thunk it? A new Joseph Gordon-Levitt film comes out, and it takes me almost 9 months to see and review it. My head hangs in shame. As far as this film goes however, while there's no need for red-faced embarrassment, I certainly can't say it's any of his greatest work. What translates to the screen as essentially a cut price 'Fast and Furious' knock-off using pushbikes doesn't really provide an overly special payoff, and is probably only worth watching for the main man himself (in shorts, naturally). There are some nice little touches, such as some nifty sat-nav style graphics which overcome the inevitable (albeit strikingly minor) problem of not knowing New York's road system, but overall, the story doesn't really set the screen alight, and suffers a little from the 'Jumper' style anti-climax having never really established enough tension to create any meaningful investment in proceedings. Not quite worthy of three stars (however much that pains me), Premium Rush is easily watchable entertainment that just doesn't quite seem to get going.

Joseph Gordon Levitt proving that he can confidently add burgundy to his list of "colours I suit"

The Perks of Being A Wallflower

Perks is the subject of a bit of a divide in my friends, seemingly stemming primarily from whether people are familiar with the original book or not. As is the case in the majority of these situations, my movie viewing came with a staggering lack of awareness of the written version, a fact which was subsequently very rapidly rectified. Regardless of my initially insufficient appreciation of literature however, the film placed me firmly and without question on the positive side of the fence. While at its heart a seemingly basic coming of age story, the whole thing in fact caught me more than a little off-guard in how it affected me. Undoubtedly part of the impact lies in how much I found I could identify with the eponymous wallflower (in this case Logan Lerman, who certainly ups the film's rank in the gay stakes), but there is something so beautiful in the story and the way the super-talented cast tell it that makes it instantly compelling. Even beyond that though, never before has a movie moved me so dramatically, and for such an extended period, that I have felt forced to buy and read the book version within 12 hours of even finishing the film. And while I find it almost impossible to explain exactly how I felt about the whole affair at the time, it is perhaps unsurprising that the single closest description I have found comes in the simple yet poetically predictive form of the opening few lines of both film and book; "I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be".

Ladies and gentlemen, take note; eyebrow acting at its very best.

 

Priest

Priest seems like an unusual vehicle for Paul Bettany, but then judging by his film history, Bettany seems intent on deliberately seeking out a list of parts that will make Hollywood type-casters cower in fear. This 2011 entry to his CV sees him playing the unnamed title role, a former saviour of mankind, and now a redundant and forgotten relic from the all-powerful church's war against the vampires. Not exactly method acting territory...

On the positive side, Priest manages to deliver a pretty decent action film, without finding it necessary to resort to a gratuitous show of raining blood and severed limbs. Don't get me wrong, there is still a good dash of both, but somehow it feels more integral to what's on screen, rather than becoming the lowest common denominator in each of the numerous fight scenes. Pleasingly, the visuals also deliver on the same promise; from the stunning vista shots to the simple yet effective CGI vampires, the film certainly has a visual flair that doesn't rely on being too in-your-face to keep you entertained.

In hindsight, this probably isn't the best way to avoid National Rail's ticket inspectors...

That said, there are some shortcomings. Despite the back story being relatively neat, the narrative of the film itself doesn't seem to carry quite enough weight, with the storyline never really reaching any kind of meaningful crescendo. The relationships between the characters are never really explored, meaning that despite one single tender (and forbidden) moment between the Priest and Priestess, we are left lumbering from fight to fight, with only the panoramic scenes of desert and/or destruction for company.

Overall, Priest is a relatively unexceptional film. Though it does bring a nice new take on the ever-popular humans vs. vampires storyline (which is commendable), there's not enough room given to really developing the characters to allow them to engage with the audience. Coupled with the restrained use of overly-bloody violence, I'm just struggling to see who was meant to be the core audience for this film. What's worse, Priest succumbs to what is one of the most annoying Hollywood traits, using the dying seconds of celluloid to optimistically set-up a sequel, which certainly in this case, is unlikely to ever get made.

Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief

I've always held a pretty geeky interest in Ancient Greek mythology, so when a film comes along that promises to combine that with a sturdy cast list, and a leading man who's smile could light up the midnight sky, it was always going to stir up a little excitement. Thankfully, the opening film of (what will hopefully be a full and complete cinematic collection of) the Percy Jackson book series lives up to the self-incited hype.

As the first of a pentalogy of stories goes, it's a pretty neat concept. Sons and daughters of the long-hidden Greek gods roam the Earth, often unaware of their demi-god status. Percy Jackson is one of those fabled offspring, born to Poseidon (Greek god of the sea, for those who chose to miss their Ancient Greek classes at school), and accused of stealing the master bolt of Zeus (brother of Poseidon, and king of the gods). Convoluted family trees aside, the movie deals with his coming to terms with his paternal heritage, and ultimately, his quest to clear his name and stop a war that will engulf all of mankind. Pretty standard stuff then.

Parting the Red Sea... Hang on, wrong religion.

Logan Lerman (who's face will be hauntingly familiar to anyone who happens to have seen The Butterfly Effect more than about 3 months before seeing this - yes, that's him...) plays the reluctant hero, and does a relatively admiral job. Assuming (as I did) you can forgive him the slightly wooden, and painfully obviously choreographed fight sequences (if I had a sword being swung in my face, I'd make sure I was leaning back just slightly before I needed to as well), he plays a pretty competent demi-god. The power of the casting however, lies in the supporting cast; Sean Bean plays a commanding (although slightly petulant) Zeus, and Pierce Brosnan dons a shoulder length wig and (perhaps more noteworthy) a horse's body to become the centaur Chiron. Besides them, Uma Thurman playing a creepy snake-haired Medusa seems pretty hard to resist. For me, the only weak link in the cast is the unfortunately placing of Steve Coogan, making for a particularly unconvincing Hades, and not exactly having the Brian Blessed-esque depth of bellow to make his voice sound remotely fearsome.

Some days you get out of bed, and your hair just seems to have a life of it's own...
(Sorry... too easy)

Aside from that, the film really does stand up strong. With impressive visual effects, the film maintains a good pace, rewarding the viewer with beguiling little Greek nuggets and plot twists all the way through. Worrying, then, as to why it took 20th Century Fox 18 months after the original release to commit to making the sequel. Currently pencilled for March 2013, I can only hope that the extra time focusses their minds to get the other three filmed soon after.