Well now, here we go. Hasbro's 1980's animated series turned live action franchise reaches its third instalment, and with the 'loss' of teenage poster girl Megan Fox, Michael Bay's ambition to make a more mature Transformers movie comes to fruition. And that's really where it all starts falling apart. 'Mature' in this sense was obviously taken to mean 'massively convoluted', as the plot limps through a fairly standard formula suffering the same problems as almost all other movie trilogies based solely on the success of the first; construct a story that follows on from the last, but with absolutely nothing to go from (cough, The Matrix, cough). Sadly though, the misery doesn't just end there. Fox's replacement, the unarguably beautiful Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, was brought in fresh from her day job as a Victoria's Secret model, (not an actress), a fact that she happily cements throughout the film. Bay's attempt to also weave in real world stories (the moon landing, Chernobyl etc...) and give them relevance in his Transformers universe doesn't really work. The final straw however, which single handedly results in the loss of the film's final precious star in its TFC rating, is simply some of the most contrived and hideously poorly thought through dialogue committed to screen in 2011. While few will be strangers to guest star Leonard Nimoy's unmistakable catch phrase ("The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few"), the utterly reprehensible action of crowbarring it into a completely different franchise evidently didn't ring alarm bells for Bay and his production team, and yet all it manages to do every time I think of it is fill me with anger. Unfortunately then for Dark of the Moon, two stars feels really rather too generous considering the vast failings and unutterably repellent dialogue larceny, whereas one is perhaps a little harsh for what is (in places at least) able to pass as vaguely entertaining.
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| I know it's confusing Rosie. That's because all the action is happening behind you... |
| Vital Statistics |
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| Director | Michael Bay |
| Cast | Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Patrick Dempsey |
| Length | 154 mins |
| Post Credits Scene | During but not post. And not worth waiting for. |
| TFC Mash-Up | Erm... Transformers meets basically any alien invasion movie ever made... |
| Star Rating |
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