Underworld

A word of warning Hollywood; even supernatural vampire vs. werewolf action films need to follow the rules of consistency to make sense. It's no good trying to convince us that some werewolves can be killed by a single bullet, whereas others can survive whole magazines and still come baying for blood. It's bad enough that (as is the way in all shoot-'em-up specials) our protagonist (in this case an offputtingly sulky Kate Beckinsale) can consistently miss the bad guys when shooting from the other side of a train station platform, yet hit the bullseye on a target from 50 paces just 2 scenes later. Assuming though that it is possible to look past the hideous inconsistencies, there's not really a great deal else that does sell Underworld as a good film. With a convoluted backstory, and a whole bretheren of names to remember, keeping up with the plot requires concentration powers akin to completing a fairground buzzwire. Couple that with the annoying necessity to whack the television contrast up to full (especially as one dark corridor looks very much like the next), and an overly underwhelming state of acting affairs all round (even including the normally over-enthusiastic Bill Nighy), Underworld does seem to have rather a lot to catch up on, and enough bite (sorry, couldn't resist) to do it with.

Thank goodness the rubbish bin has it's own downlight. Just for those night-time litter emergencies...